Unlearning Old Habits: The Leadership Skill Nobody Talks About

Why Leadership Growth Is About More Than Adding Skills

When we think about leadership development, we often talk about adding — new strategies, new tools, new perspectives. But what we rarely talk about is subtracting. The reality? Some of the habits that helped you climb the ladder will hold you back once you’re leading from the top.

When What Got You Here Holds You Back

When I first stepped into leadership, I carried every skill that had served me well as an individual contributor.

I thought over-preparing for every meeting would show my competence.

I thought having all the answers would inspire confidence.

It didn’t.

Instead, my team became passive. They waited for me to solve problems. They stopped bringing their own ideas to the table — because I had already filled the space with mine.

The Hard Truth About Outgrowing Habits

It was a hard pill to swallow: the habits that made me good in my role were making me bad at leading.

That’s when I learned one of the most underrated leadership skills: unlearning.

Unlearning is not forgetting. It’s letting go of what no longer serves you so something better can take its place.

What Unlearning Looked Like for Me

For me, it meant:

• Speaking less in meetings so others could step up.

• Resisting the urge to fix everything immediately and instead asking, “What do you think?”

• Letting go of control so the team could take ownership.

The Mark of a Great Leader

Great leaders aren’t just learners. They’re unlearners.

They know when to put down an old tool to pick up a better one.

If you’re ready for a true leadership reset, start by asking yourself:

• What’s one habit that helped me in the past but is holding me back now?

Your Move

The best leaders know when it’s time to trade what’s comfortable for what’s necessary. What habit are you ready to unlearn so you can lead better? Share it in the comments — and join me on this week’s Boss Moves & Boardrooms podcast for a deeper dive into turning old habits into new opportunities. [podcast link]